Weirdest of all? He filed for divorce

Oh, his bum might be on the Swedish, but I can tell you where it's not

The following messages were found on Drew Barrymore’s message machine the week ending 2.3.07:

1.28.07:
Heya Drew, it’s me, Tom! God, I hope this isn’t weird or anything. It’s been so long! I was just watching that movie you were in, “Batman Forever”, and it made me think of you, and here I am phoning! So, anyway I guess you’re not in… if you wanna talk again maybe, I’m still at the same number!

1.30.07:
Yo, Drew! Tom here. Maybe you missed my last message or something? Anyway, yeah, I was just thinking about that place we went to on our first date. You remember that one? Ha ha, remember that waiter… Pedro! Ha ha. Man, that guy was funny. I wonder if he ever found out that he had that rip in his shirt. Anyway, you know how to get me!

1.31.07:
Drew… it’s Tommy! Guess you’re on vacation or something? I mean, that’s cool. Hope you’re having fun! Ha, God, remember that vacation we had in Cancun? It was like everyone working at the resort was Pedro’s brother! It was so weird! Ha ha, remember how you got that sunburn and when we got home your back was peeling? Poor Drew! I told you to put sunblock on your back, silly girl! Anyway, Glen’s here, so I should probably get going. I still have the same email address if you want to write me back there, too!

Isn't this the weirdest thing you have ever seen? Yes. Yes it is.

2.1.07
Hey Drew, it’s Toms! I guess on Wikipedia it says you’re not dating Fabrizio anymore? Heck, since anyone can write whatever they want on Wikipedia, I guess for all I know you guys are married and have kids! Ha, God, wouldn’t that be weird?! Anyway, just wanted to let you know what your Wikipedia page said about you.

2.1.07:
Hey, Drew, Pedro here! Hey, here’s a rip in my shirt! How long’s that been there?!! Ha ha, just kidding, it’s me, Tom! God, I hope I’m not filling up your message machine or anything! Anyway, if you wanna get together again for coffee or something sometime again, that’d be cool. I mean, I still have some cash left over from the MTV show so I could fly down to LA for a week(end?) and we could just chill?

2.2.07:
Ha ha, Drew, it’s Tom again. I was just thinking, wouldn’t it be weird if the reason you weren’t phoning back is because you moved and this wasn’t your number anymore, and someone else was getting all my messages? Ha, I bet they’d be all, like, “Who the hell is this Tom guy?!!”, and I’d be like “Helloooo?! Never hear of Tom Green?!”. Anyway, yeah, you know how to get me. Talk to you soon!