Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Western New York's Only Source of Potable Water!

"We'll tell you what the devaluation of the dollar versus the emerging euro means for your weekend at... oh, sorry, evidently we won't."

September 26th, 476:
The Action News 2 News Team first brought you word of the gradual, almost imperceptible decline of the Roman Empire over the past few centuries. We’ll bring you word on the latest barbarian sacking – and what this means for your Western civilization – at 11!

March 18th, 1836:
There was a house fire in Tonawanda today, only 3 hours after the city’s incorporation. We’ll tell you how many butter churns were destroyed – at 11!

April 14th, 1865:
Action News 2 brought you exclusive word earlier today on the president being shot in the head by a bullet. We’ll tell you if he lived or died – and what this could mean for your Union - at 11!

April 12th, 1912:
Action News 2 and our Doppler 3000 Weather Team were the first to warn you about rogue icebergs in the North Atlantic, and it seems one has claimed another victim! Find out if your loved one was aboard… at 11!

"We here at the Action 2 News Team were the first to exclusively tell you that the Erie County Fair is canceled this year due to a menacing green cloud hovering over western New York. No word yet on which - if any - of the Gambino brothers survived the disaster. Cellino & Barnes are launching a class action lawsuit against WUTV on Union road, where the cloud originated."

June 28th, 1914:
An Austrian Archduke was assassinated earlier today. We’ll tell you which one in which Baltic pseudo-state – and what this could mean for your weekend – at 11!

August 15th, 1914:
A man-made canal opened today. We’ll tell you across which isthmus and what two oceans it connects – and what this could mean for the price of your grains – at 11!

August 6th, 1945:
If you’re thinking of heading to Hiroshima for the weekend, don’t forget your sunscreen! We’ll tell you why… at 11!


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