Remember Old Stuff?

And he's single, ladies!

The year is 1998. A phone rings in Patrick Ewing’s living room. He dashes from the kitchen to answer it.

Ewing: Hello?

Executive: Hi, is Patrick Ewing there?

Ewing: This is he.

Exec: Hi, Patrick, it’s Jim Taylor of the shoe company.

Ewing: Oh, hey! I’ve been meaning to call you guys! Listen, I got some great ideas for new colours for the line of suede shoes you put out in my name!

Exec: Yeah, Pat, that’s sorta what I was calling about.

Ewing: Oh, great!

Exec: Listen, Pat, we’ve been thinking maybe it’s time to… not make the shoes anymore?

Ewing: What the hell are you talking about?! I’ve still got a promising career ahead of me, man! I caught my second wind!

Exec: No, hey, I’m sure that’s true. But the fact is it’s 1998 and nobody really wants suede shoes with Patrick Ewing’s name on them anymore.

Ewing: Bull cookies!

Exec: Pat, I am right there with you. It doesn’t make any sense, but that’s what our figures are showing. I really wish it wasn’t true, but there’s no way around it.

Ewing: Well, goddamn it, see if Patrick Ewing does any favours for you again!

Exec: Alright Pat, there’s no need for that.