Overheard on Mustafar

I grew this beard for you!

Obi-Wan: You were the Chosen One! You were supposed to bring balance to the Force, not destroy it! I loved you like a brother!

(Obi-Wan walks away, leaving a dismembered Anakin to die)

Obi-Wan: Alright Threepio, let’s get out of here.

C-3P0: So I guess you took care of Anakin. Cut his head off with your lightsaber?

Obi-Wan: Well, not exactly…

Threepio: Oh, you son of a bitch! Sliced him clean in two, eh?!

Obi-Wan: I just kinda left him there at the edge of a river of lava. But he was on fire when I was taking off!

Threepio: On fire?

Obi-Wan: Right, and I cut off all his limbs.

Threepio: Alright, no prob. You left his dead body to burn.

Obi-Wan: Well, alright. He wasn’t dead dead. He was dying.

Threepio: Okay, okay… you sure you don’t wanna go back there and just finish the job?

Obi-Wan: Well, we really should get going…

Threepio: No, seriously. Just gimme a blaster or something, I’ll just shoot him in the head. Just go right over there and get it done. I mean, Christ, he has no limbs. It’s not rocket science.

Obi-Wan: I’m really more eager to get outta here…

Threepio: You sure now? Because, I mean, he ended up being one evil son of a bitch and I think we really could save ourselves a lot of trouble if we just took five minutes to go back there and make sure he’s dead. Again, I’d like to point out that he has no limbs.

Obi-Wan: Don’t do this…

Threepio: Five minutes of our time, man.

Obi-Wan: Didn’t he build you?

Threepio: Okay, you’re way out of line.