Ceci N'est Pas Un Soulier

Alan Parsons, the inventor of the shoe, must be rolling in his grave

Whoever is designing shoes these days is an idiot. Go to the mall and try to find yourself a pair of nice shoes. Go ahead, try it. Sneakers, something dressy, casual – it doesn’t matter. They’re all awful. Sneakers are at this point designed solely for people who wear crooked baseball caps with flattened brims and basketball jerseys in everyday life. Something nice to wear around town? Unless that town is Prague or some other Eurotrashy destination, just forget it. They all have weird seams running all over the place where seams are not necessary.

I give up. I seriously do. It appears as though I’m stuck with my current pair of shoes until the soles fall off, because I can spend an afternoon in the mall at every shoe store and not find one decent pair. I think I will write to Andy Rooney and ask if he agrees.